I Wanted Punch the Universe in the Face

Lately I feel like I can’t catch much of a break. You know those times when the universe just seems out to get you and it is super easy to feel sorry for yourself. I have come to the realization that having an ear infection is really a great way to make me super crabby and just hate my life and most people I am interacting with (but I promise not you, I mean those other people).

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Just as I am finally getting over one ear infection I have gotten another one and my cat is sick and I just feel sucky (very happy she will be okay, but still sucky). My back hurts and I just want to have a real break. You know the kind where you actually don’t take your day off to go to the doctor or run errands or clean your home, but do something enjoyable.

I thought about what I can do with ears that are messed up and not wanting to spend any money or really socialize with anyone. With any luck I will have a good trail run soon, but I am so thoroughly in a funk that I am having a hard time being excited about much other than sleep or hopeful about anything. The thing is when you feel bad like this you generally know you are being unreasonable being so crabby, but you just can’t help feel like everything sucks.

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Truthfully, I need to run. It will make me feel better I’m sure. I am just worn out and my ears hurt and I want to cry.

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In the meantime I needed to find something to make it all better for a little while. I managed to stop feeling sorry for myself for 5 minutes and since my medicine started to work enough that I could function (sort of) I found that I really needed some quiet time at home, but I also needed to get in my car and go. So I got my cat settled and took off for a day to spend with my mom.

We sat outside all day knitting/crocheting and talking. Later we watched Gilmore Girls and my dad spent a little time with us although he wasn’t feeling too well himself.

Friends were posting about all the super awesome stuff they were doing like going to concerts and art instillations, and as much as I wanted to do those things and my ear infection(s) made me sad I’d have to miss them, I think what my heart needed was a quiet day at home.

I’m still grumpy about life and there is so much to be sad about if you let it, but I have to say there is nothing I would have rather done with my Saturday. Life sucks sometimes, but we have to just appreciate what we do have, and yes, allow ourselves to be a little crabby sometimes when we don’t feel so well. Maybe the universe isn’t all bad after-all.

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